he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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