I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
