After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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