Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just found a bag of teeth...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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