Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
