It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Found your dick twin last night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I would ride that face into the sunset
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
