I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
