I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
