I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
