Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
