yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
