hotel room ftw
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
