If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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