grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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