That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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