he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
