he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
