this beer tastes like vomit already
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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