Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize