Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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