So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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