What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
