week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
