i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
