you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
