Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
