Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
