sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I could make wine with my vomit
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
