Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
