When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
