Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
