did you get engaged???
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
