It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
