Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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