Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
