I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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