my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
In the future we'll all be gay
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
