Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
