We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
