i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Green mimosas i think yes
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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