Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
