I want to walk on stilts...naked
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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