you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
