i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
