the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
