I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize