shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize