I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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