He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
