People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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