his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
