If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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