the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
