Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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