that's an acceptable place to lick
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
