i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
