Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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