Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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