I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
