i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
