i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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