party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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